Florida Woman Hit in the Face by Husband’s Sausage
A 61-year-old Florida man, Ray Allen, of St. Petersburg, had himself quite the sausage party. The kind of party that landed him in the porky… I mean the pokey. So what was the fuss about? Allen allegedly took it up a notch by engaging in a heated argument that culminated in the throwing of a sausage at his 64-year-old wife’s face.
According to the Smoking Gun, the sausage assault occurred amid a “verbal altercation.” It seems sausages are the new weapons of choice in domestic disputes. Alcohol was reportedly also in the mix, adding an extra kick to this spicy sausage saga.
Unfortunately, we don’t know specify the type of sausage involved in the dispute. Was it a bratwurst or a breakfast link? The world may never know.
Despite the drama, the sausage in question managed to escape the clutches of law enforcement and was not seized as evidence. Perhaps it went into hiding, fearing a future as exhibit A in a courtroom. Or maybe it was too delicius to go to waste.
Sausage Party Foul:
Emergency Medical Services were called to the scene to address the fallout. The victim’s right eye received a thorough saline rinse solution to ward off any potential infections from the uncooked meat. It seems even sausages can pose health risks when thrown with enough force.
Ray Allen, now free from custody, has pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor domestic battery charge. Hopefully, there aren’t any other foods that Allen plans to throw in the future. It started with a sausage, but where does it end?
Take the corn dog. Sure, it’s harmless in hand, but transform it into an aerial weapon, and its pointed edges could turn it into a javelin! How about Shish kabobs? Those skewers are like medieval weaponry!
We’re talking a sharpness that sausages could only dream of. Eat safe out there!
My Favorite Waffle House Fight Video Dropped One Year Ago Today
What’s with Waffle House lately? I keep looking, but we’re not seeing any really good fight scenes. Now to be clear, I’m not looking for people to get hurt, but I miss the craziness. Last month in Virginia a woman got shot, but there’s no video of the fight. Also, like I said, we’re not looking for people to get hurt. Just Waffle House fight video craziness. Especially Florida Waffle House craziness – my favorite.
So what’s My Favorite Waffle House Fight Video?
Before we get to that, maybe here’s some insight on why we’ve seeing less fight videos. The Waffle House employees are fed up. Not just with the fights, but with their situation. They want $25/hr, pay, security in all stores, an end to mandatory meal deductions. The third demand is the one that caught me. So they have to pay for a meal whether or not they eat at the restaurant? I’ve worked at many restaurants and pizza places and I don’t recall ever paying for a meal. Sure, there were some hard nosed bosses that said you needed to pay for food, but we always found a way around that. At Waffle House it’s automatically taken from your check.
So maybe there’s some compassion for the employees right now. They really do go through a lot. So I’ll put my favorite Waffle House fight video below. And no one got hurt in the video. If you’re at work, watch the sound. There’s a LOT of words in these videos that could get you in trouble with HR.
First, since it’s the holiday season, let’s check some of the runner-ups.
Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.
