Florida Man Admits to Police: I’m Not Good at Shoplifting
Listen up Florida Man Criminals. You know those price rollback signs Walmart is famous for? Well, they don’t apply to the cost of your bail. So, instead of saving a few bucks on that bicycle pump, you might end up spending a chunk of change to get out of a sticky legal situation. So, there’s this Florida Man named Daniel Kaczmar. Now, Daniel’s got a bit of a unique talent. He decided to try his hand at a little shoplifting, you know, just to spice up his day.
Now of all the Florida Man criminals, Daniel, isn’t the brightest. According to the Smoking Gun, This 53-year-old fella, rolls up to a Walmart in Largo, Florida, on his trusty bicycle. Now, here’s the twist – the bike’s got a flat tire. So, what does he do? Parks it outside, walks in like he owns the place, and starts stuffing bicycle accessories worth $35.88 under his t-shirt. Smooth criminal right here!
Florida Man Daniel:
The store’s security team spots him trying to pull off the ever classic “I’m-not-stealing-anything” performance. They quickly call the cops, and it’s game over for our bike-riding bandit. When the officers confront him, what does Daniel have to say for himself? “I’m not good at shoplifting.” Damn, Daniel! I mean, you’re not good at biking either, hence the flat tire.”
Now, before you think this is just a one-time slip-up, let me tell you, this isn’t Daniel’s first go-around. He’s been caught red-handed before, swiping drinks, sandwiches, probably a parrot or two, from another Walmart. And guess what? When they nabbed him that time, they also found him in possession of fentanyl and drug paraphernalia.
So, now our buddy Daniel is facing a felony charge. Daniel, if you’re listening, maybe it’s time to consider a career change. Shoplifting doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.
Mujer de Florida hace publicación viral con vehículo del sheriff, es arrestada por posesión de drogas
Talea Saylor
Estoy seguro de que solo guardaba la metanfetamina para otra persona.
En El Barco
Su cómplice, Briar Bloomer. Enfrentando los mismos cargos. ¿Cómo se las arreglaron estos dos para sacar un barco del muelle? Al menos llevan chalecos salvavidas. ¡Seguridad primero!
