Burning Love: Florida Man’s Romance with Cousin Goes Up in Flames
Strike up the banjos because we’ve got a wild story today. Meet Melvin Alain Cintron, a 37-year-old Floridian whose idea of romance involves setting his cousin-turned-girlfriend’s car on fire. Yep, his own cousin!
According to Local 10, this fiery drama unfolded in North Miami, where Melvin decided to give his cousin’s Jaguar XE sedan a fiery makeover right in front of their home. It’s a real family affair, Florida-style.
Now, Melvin didn’t just casually light the car ablaze… He did it with gusto on April 29, probably to ensure he didn’t melt away in the sweltering Florida heat. Talk about a warm welcome!
The investigators tried to unravel this bizarre romance story, but Melvin’s cousin/girlfriend was too afraid to spill the beans. She initially claimed that her car spontaneously combusted because, well, she didn’t want to deal with Melvin’s fiery temper. She even had to put her phone on speaker when discussing the car. Talk about communication barriers!
But when the truth finally came out, it revealed Melvin as not just a pyromaniac but also a gun enthusiast. He had a fully automatic firearm complete with a double-drum high-capacity magazine, and he gave its drum magazines quite the creative nickname “t—–s.” Jeez. What a boob this guy is..
In a fit of jealousy, Melvin decided to spice things up by stealing his cousin-girlfriend’s purse, which, by sheer coincidence, contained a whopping $1,200 in cash. His reasoning? He thought a bartender was making a pass at her. So, he pulled a bold move and swiped her bag.
Long story short, Melvin’s fiery antics landed him a one-way ticket to the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center. An arrest warrant and a $12,500 bond later, it’s safe to say that love and arson don’t exactly mix well in the Sunshine State. Who would’ve thought?