We’ve all heard of the Florida Man, but now there’s a Florida Woman.  She was arrested outside of a Publix with a pitchfork and a whip, in Lake County, Florida.

According to ClickOrlando.com, Lisa Slone, a 56 year old female, was arrested and faces aggravated assault charges.  She is accused of waving a pitchfork and black whip back and forth in front of a Publix.

The manager of the store told deputies in Lake County that she was trying to sell teddy bears (What?) behind a Publix in Minneola earlier in the day.  He went on to tell troopers that she used the pitchfork to stab a minivan.  The owner of the vehicle denied police intervention and said he would pay for damages on his own.

Sounds like he might have known her?  I don’t know why you would offer to pay for damages otherwise.  And who has a pitchfork at Publix while selling teddy bears?  You can’t make this stuff up!

Sloan was placed into a police vehicle and proceeded to kick the windows of the vehicle.  Reports say it was clear she was under the influence.  According to the police report, after being asked about her cut marks and bruises, Slone said she “felt no pain anymore and that God was in control.”

What was she doing with the whip?  Why doesn’t anyone tell us what she was doing with the whip?

Dave Portnoy Rates 4 Southwest Florida Pizza Joints

Dave Portnoy, creator of Barstool Sports and famed pizza reviewer, has been to a few pizza shops in Southwest Florida in the last year or so.

His online pizza reviews called ‘One Bite Pizza Reviews‘ have added to his Barstool fame.  He rates pizzas from around the US on a scale of one to 10. Part of his criteria is how much grease it has or “the flop”, and he’s always looking for a well-done “undercarriage.” His favorite style is Neapolitan with no toppings, only cheese. His ratings are brutally honest and don’t always make for the happiest local owners.  If you’re in the 7 range, consider yourself to have a good slice.

Each of his reviews is recorded by his pal Frankie or Spider, or another Barstool friend, and posted on his YouTube channel.

We’ve found 4 locations here in Southwest Florida and listed them below, along with Dave’s rating and video review.

Check out the list:

  • Grandpa's Pizza - Bonita Springs

    Dave’s Rating – 7.8

  • Lowbrow Pizza & Beer - Naples

    Dave’s Rating – 7.1

  • Industry Pizza & Slice Shop - Naples

    Dave’s Rating – 7.7

  • Taglio Cucina & Pizzeria Romana - Port Charlotte

    Dave’s Rating – 7.7

  • Costco Pizza

    Dave’s Rating – 1.9

  • Panera Pizza

    Dave’s Rating – 6.1

  • Chuck E. Cheese Pizza

    Dave’s Rating – 6

  • Lunchables Pizza

    Dave’s Rating – 1.1

  • DiGiorno Pizza

    Dave’s Rating – 2.8

  • Bagel Bites

    Dave’s Rating – 6.9